The Gay Agenda…

Posted: August 29, 2013 in Publishing

mefunnyWhat is it with the media and ant-gay groups describing gay marriage and the fight for equal rights as ‘The Gay Agenda’, as if every gay person throughout the world are networked and a threat like Al Qaeda for fucks sake. I am still at a loss with the right wing outrage toward gay marriage. There is a clue in the term equal rights, being ‘equal’ and ‘rights’ – I cannot respect anyone who doesn’t feel it just and fair that gay people should have every single right that I have. Yesterday this opinion cost me someone who I once considered a friend.

I have many gay friends. I have to say, of all my gay friends, they have the longest, most loving and most secure relationships I know. But being an idiot, I asked my mate ‘Gay Paul’ about the gay agenda:
“Paul,” I asked, “what is the gay agenda?”
“The what?”
“Agenda. What do you want?”
“To be able to meet someone, fall in love, get married, maybe get a better job to get a bigger house. Maybe start a family. That sort of thing.”
Holy fuck… that was my agenda too! Am I a gay?
What I do know for sure, and I mean 100% sure is there is NO gay agenda. Anyone who has a gay couple as friends will know this. You cannot get them to decide to do anything! If you agree to meet at 9am, they will be there by lunch and then endure many debates about where and what to do!

What exactly is there to fear for a people wanting such mundane and normal things as marriage? Once again, religion is a key part. I know I seem anti-religion, but the evidence some religious folk present for a narrow minded and hateful world view is irrefutable. My friend, or rather ex-friend believes gay people have a choice, as if they choose to be gay. Who in their right mind would choose to be mocked, ostracised, marginalised and refused the basic and fundamental human rights that everyone else takes for granted? Are these people fucking crazy? These people believe gay marriage is a fundamental risk to the sanctity that is marriage…
How for fucks sake? HOW?
I will tell you the biggest single risk to heterosexual marriage is children! I love my kids, but they break everything, and forget a sex life, let alone any other kind of life. I only had kids because I wanted to name something and couldn’t afford a boat. I’m 40 now, when I was younger I thought I’d have a red Ferrari and a black friend with a helicopter like Magnum Pi by now, but no. Kids ruined that dream. It the church wants to protect marriage – make children illegal. The church doesn’t like to admit it’s wrong, and lets just for a moment ignore the child abuse cover-ups, it wasn’t very long ago that the church wouldn’t let black people join them in prayer as they believed black people had no soul!
To be fair, the sanctity of marriage should be protected, it is a legally binding contract and recognised by God himself. The right for a wealthy drunk man to go to Vegas, pick up a stripper with more titties than teeth and get married by a sweaty fat Elvis. That should be protected. It’s pure and godly and just. God forbid two people who have been in love, built a home and paid taxes should want to enjoy such freedom. In America it’s in the constitution, it’s written down, marriage is between a man and a woman. Why? In case they forget?

There is a literary connection though. This whole argument happened because Dumbledoor from Harry Potter is Gay. Yes, I say that again, Dumbledoor is gay. J.K. Rowling released a press release to say as such. My friend said “I can’t believe Dumbledoor is gay!” and said he stopped liking Harry Potter and wouldn’t read it to his kids because of it. That boiled my piss!
“You can’t believe he is gay… but you can believe he is a wizard? Gay people actually exist you fucking moron!”
The friendship ended with me saying “Trust me, if there is a God, he absolutely has no problem with gay people any more than he does with heterosexual people, because by your own philosophy – he wouldn’t have invented them!”
“How dare you,” he said, “You have no right to speak for God.”
“Your right,” I said, “and I hope you remember that, as neither do you!”

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