Am I the next big thing?

Posted: December 15, 2012 in Publishing

mefunnyAm I the next big thing?

Short answer: no.  A longer answer: I doubt it.

However, this isn’t a question, it is a thing called a “Promotion Ring”, and promotion ring, to me, sounds a bit like what I imagine they say to porn actors, “Okay, if you do anal, you get paid more… think of your asshole as a promotion ring!” But, the concept is a great one, and hot from two of my fave Authors, Richard Thomas and Caleb J. Ross. What happens is an author answers 10 questions about their new/next/most recent novel/novella/collection/whatever before tagging another 5 authors who have to do the same thing one week later. And we all FB and/or tweet about it. My five will be listed at the end of this blog entry.

And here are the questions:

1) What is the working title of your next book?

Well that is a tough one, as I am undecided. Originally, it was to be called ‘Cocksicle’ but I now like ‘Entomology’ as it is three books in one (caterpillar, chrysalis & butterfly). I liked ‘Clown Atlas’ too for a while, but, who knows. Maybe even Colin.

2) Where did the idea come from for the book?
Well, with ‘Malice’ my first book, it was as if you were parachuted into a situation. You start off in the middle of a life in chaos. Also, ‘Malice’ was written in the style of a farce. So comical event, followed by comical event with little time to breathe. I wanted to explore the bit before the ‘train wreck’, so you witness a guy as he dissolves, breaks down and comes apart at the seams. But to extrapolate it, so you know the guy better and so it is funnier. I also wanted to explore dark obsessive love, heartbreak, apathetic anger. A fun book about a guy who accidentally finds himself in a violent sex cult while believing he has Stockholm syndrome.

3) What genre does your book fall under?
Well, many would say crap. I suppose the most accurate description is dark transgressive comedy.

4) What actors would you choose to play the part of your characters in a movie rendition?
Martin Freeman, for the lead in both books. I have asked the film company to speak to him for the film of Malice in Blunderland, however as he landed ‘The Hobit’ it doesn’t seem likely! He has that Mr. average, unspectacular every-man quality. I wanted my books give you a hint at how close you are to disaster. Most of us walking the thin line of having a job and a home. All it would need is a small disaster to snowball and next thing you are wanking off a tramp in a skip for half a sandwich.

5) What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?
Sex cult disaster via heartbreak, burglary, glued testicles, and taboo love orgy fights because of Stockholm Syndrome.

6) Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?
The boys at Cutting Edge Press are the most likely. Though I do have an offer by two others. I’m too shit a writer to self publish, I need help!

7) How long did it take you to write the first draft of the manuscript?
Malice in Blunderland, once the concept had distilled, took about a year. The new book is taking longer as it is a lot more bookish. So is involved, prose let and a deeper interaction with the content. Oh and it much bigger.

8) What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?
The Bible? I guess, it is nearest to Chuck Palahniuk’s body of work. Possibly Choke. I don’t know anyone else who is deliberately doing transgressive humour. It would be very easy to turn the book into a tragedy. Or to go much darker. I like to take those nuggets and refine them so they are funny. I think the funniest situations are the fruit of dark tragic situations. I still love Faulty Towers, John Cleese is a master of dark comedy. If break down the concept, it is actually sad and darkly depressing. Yet Cleese recognised madness is only funny when observed.

9) Who or what inspired you to write this book?
The first book was inspired by watching a guy laugh out loud on a train. He was reading some book, something in it buckled him, and he was laughing. That uncontrollable loud laughing, it embarrassed him because it was unexpected. And it was infectious, it spread through our carriage on the train like a virus. Every one grinning at seeing it, looking at each other and sharing a moment. I wanted to be able to do that. I was late to books and reading, and the more I read the more frustrated I got with the vast array saying similar, and a lack of funny. Also, having had a colourful life, stuff I had divulged on a tiny surfing forum in England went viral, so I guessed folks wanted to read similar. Through this I discovered my destiny… I was born to clown.

10) What else about the book might pique the reader’s interest?
It is dirty and dark. A twisted love story that will have you laugh at toxic situations. Three books in one, it is about change, about how if you quit the bullshit, disregard all the packaging and crap you are sold about who to be, rather than who you are… you might be surprised who you might find.

My five, because they are simply brilliant and must read dudes and dudettes:

Greg Cummings – Gorilla land is, simply put, brilliant. Greg has a depth of knowledge so intimate with the area, that the fiction leaves you with dirt under your nails. Beautiful work. An assured BIG name in the future.

Ruth Ramsden – should have had the success 50 shades had. Twisted, dark, sexy and funny. A fantastic writer that every woman should read. Who I genuinely think will be the next big thing. Her Book Blue Murder in the Pink Parrot is fantastic.

Pela Via – beautiful and smart as hell. The guv’nor at Manarchy as well as an edgy penswoman. Her works in anthologies such as Warmed and bound hit! A must know.


Phil Jourdan – his book ‘Praise of Motherhood’ is, quite honestly, remarkable. Phil is a super cool guy who is fiercly smart and the voice of the very cool band ‘Paris and the Hiltons’ as well as having his own inprint. A new Will Self but with all the twattyness removed.

Nikki Guerlain – You MUST know this kitty. Super sexy bizzaro Goddes who writes LOADS, and it is fucking amazing shit. She has film woks on the go. You Gotta get with the Nikki

One extra for Free – Martin Garrity, cos he constantly writes goooood:

EXTRA blogs:–pageid5

  1. ombos says:

    “Cocksicle” sounded better – Snoo Wilson wrote a play call “Blow Job” – you should take this more seriously – and there’s a typo (think it’s one) in Q2) “My fist book” – missing consonant perhaps?

  2. I am putting “Malice” on my to read list. It sounds like a book I’ll have a time reading, but part of me loves the very idea of the book. I know you already did your tag of course, but I tagged you again anyway with mine. Check it out:–pageid5

  3. I was going to ask your brother if he has a copy of Malice in Blunderland I could borrow, but then I decided not to be a cheap-arse. Bloody Amazon doesn’t like my credit card ‘though, so I’ll have to try another time.

    PS I think Colin is a lovely name for a book. Or maybe Cecil – I knew a guy once who named his todger Cecil, so that would go nicely with the whole cocksickle theme.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s