I are a writer?

Posted: September 10, 2011 in Publishing

 Okay, so more musings in the world of writeology. Turns out, the writers seminar I was invited to speak at, didn’t go so well. I have been informed, that a woman complained I was drunk. She had no idea who I was, and so didn’t come to see me. But still felt it worth complaining that someone she hadn’t come to see was drunk. “He was drunk, I didn’t come to see a drunk person!” Well, on this issue, I wasn’t flying a fucking plane, what does it matter if I was drunk? I was just sat talking. That I can do drunk.

I do think this wasn’t really the issue though. I’m sure she didn’t like me… or what I write… or my kind… what I stand for, all of it. She (will remain nameless) writes female romance fiction. She hates the term ‘chick-lit’ because it demeans female literature. Does it? This became a bit of a debate. ‘Chick’ – female, ‘Lit’ abbreviation of literature. It’s petty much perfect I said. But apparently not, even though I’m pretty sure the term was invented by women. I then I suggested Clitrature. The joke missed. She called be an imbecile, and left. Imbecile has to be one of the nicest insults I’ve ever had. Since then I’ve been asked if I’m a vanity writer. To which my reply was “Do I write for Vanity Fair?” No, are you a vanity Author? To which my reply was “What the fuck is that?” I consulted The guys at my publishers Cutting House Press, who, I have to say, have not yet got exhausted by all the wreckage and chaos I seem to be causing. And informed me what a Vanity Author is. So no. I’m not.

What that has taught me is the amount of categorization in this industry. Well I write this, I don’t like that. The more categories, the more writers are boxed in. Pigeon holes are not nice unless you are a pigeon. This has fueled the self publish, ebook debates. But, to an outsider or an idiot like me, it’s like saying a high street would suit a Chinese restaurant, but not an Indian. And the council could tolerate a fish and chip shop out of view, but there is no place for a kebab shop. It’s all just food. Strip away the flavours and it’s just food. Some you like when you are falling out of a pub, some you like to take people to. Books are just words in differing flavour. So far I have met some fantastic people with crazy stories. Maybe not mainstream, but brilliant none the less. I believe stories exist to be told. I hope it becomes like the music industry where you can find independent labels, and download the music you love. Darker, more edgy, funnier, weirder works. So far, I have had as may requests for hard copy. I’m of the hope that this revolution will re-ignite the craft of printing and binding. Special, unique one off limited editions. Tactile covers etc. So far the only people I hear moaning about the change are the big publishing houses worried about there market being lost to talent inspired independents and authors who have lived off a name. So, next time someone asks me what sort of writer I am, I will just say
“A  drunk one”

  1. Hilarious! I lost it on the Clitrature … LOL.

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